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What to Say: 20 Prompts When Meeting For The First Time

Lisa McKay | Updated: October 10, 2023

When your long distance relationship starts out online, not knowing what to say when you meet for the first time is more common than you might think.

Overtime, you’ve learnt to communicate well before you ever start, um, “communicating” on a more physical level.

You know so much about each other, especially your day-to-day lives. So, when you meet for the first time, what do you talk about?!

To calm your nerves, let’s plan ahead a little so you’re not just getting yes or no answers that lead to awkward silences!


what to say when you meet someone for the first time in a long distance relationship pinterest image

My easy-to-ask (and hopefully answer) questions to talk about when you meet someone for the first time are broken down into four main themes. I’ll introduce each section and explain why they’re a good option to dive into during your first meeting.

What To Say When You Meet Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend For The First Time

5 Fun Questions To Ask When Meeting For The First Time

These are relatively easy questions to ask. They may not be easy to answer, but that’s OK because they’re really fun topics to think about.

The answers to these questions will also help you learn more about what you they love doing with their time.

  1. If you could spend the next year doing anything you wanted, what would you do?
  2. What’s something you really want to do in life but haven’t experienced yet?
  3. If you had to do something really fun or unusual every month for the next year, what are some of the things you would choose to do?
  4. If you could repeat an experience you’ve had in life with someone special to you, what would it be?
  5. If you could choose to do something extraordinarily well, what skill would you pick?

Want some fun things to do too? Check out our post on some fun things to do when meeting someone for the first time to create an inviting and comfortable atmosphere.

2 Easy & Indirect Questions About Money

People often find it really hard to talk about money. However, it is wise for everyone even thinking about starting a serious relationship to get a good sense of the other person’s attitudes towards money, and how they handle the money they do have.


Because money (or more often, a lack of money) can become a major source of resentment and conflict in a relationship.

This is especially likely to happen if finances are keeping you apart in the first place, traveling to see each other is expensive, and/or one partner has to spend a lot more money than the other in order to keep the relationship going.

Your first meeting, however, is probably not the time to sit down and have a long and in-depth talk about money, so I recommend you start with two really indirect and fun questions about money. These questions are not threatening to ask or answer, but they will give you a glimpse of what your partner thinks about money and what they value.

  1. If you had a million dollars to give away, what would you do with it?
  2. What would you do with an extra $1,000 to spend only on yourself?

Want a whole bunch more questions you can ask about money? Check out our post: How To Talk About Money In A Long Distance Relationship.

5 Questions About Family & Their Childhood

Everyone has very different experiences of growing up—even children raised in the same family. Some people look back upon their childhood as a happy and largely carefree period of innocence.  Other people most definitely do not think of their childhood in those terms.

Regardless of how you feel about your childhood, your experiences growing up have been very influential in your life.

The same is true of the person you will be meeting. You will always learn important things about each other when you spend time talking about how you grew up and what your parents and families were like.

So here are five worthwhile questions you can ask about their family and childhood.

  1. What is something you admire and respect about each of your parents?
  2. What are some things your parents did well as parents? What about some things you wish they’d done differently?
  3. What did your parents argue about most often while you were growing up?
  4. What’s a tradition your family had growing up that you loved?
  5. What’s one way you want your relationship to be similar to your parents? What about different?

8 Questions about THEM 

No matter how long we’ve already spent talking to someone, there are questions we haven’t asked them about what they think and who they are. Guaranteed.

And these sorts of questions are always worth asking. They will help you learn more about them, and help them feel valued and understood.

So here are 8 questions you may not have asked them yet. They’re not all totally light and fun questions. They are also not necessarily easy to answer. But they are important questions.

The answers to these sorts of questions will give you important clues about how they have changed over time, how self-aware and reflective they are, and how vulnerable and honest they are willing and able to be with you right now.

  1. What are five words your friends might use to describe you?
  2. What would you like to do more of in life, but don’t? Why not?
  3. Fill in the blanks: “I used to think ___, and now I think ___.”
  4. What is one thing you’ve learned the hard way in life?
  5. What is something you’d like to change about yourself?
  6. What is something you’d like to do, but are scared to try?
  7. What’s a valuable lesson you have learned from a previous romantic relationship?
  8. Where is the biggest mismatch in your life right now between what you believeand how you are acting?

Now That You Know What To Talk About When Meeting Someone For The First Time…

…which questions will you choose to make your first meeting a relaxed (yet still exciting) one?

Want more conversation starters? Check out our post on deep and meaningful questions that are perfect for long distance couples.

If you’re still feeling nervous about your first meeting:

Remind yourself that there’s a good reason why you’ve been able to spend hours and hours during the past weeks, months, and even years talking to each other online.

It’s going to be okay.

Chances are you will not feel like you’ve run out of things to talk about.

That said, it never hurts to plan ahead a little. If you know you have a couple of good questions up your sleeve, you’ll feel much more relaxed.

Now, my friend, go forth prepared to have a great time, confident that you’ll be able to keep the conversational ball rolling if things start to feel a bit quiet and weird.

Lisa McKay author image for bio
Lisa McKay is an award-winning author and psychologist. She is also the founder of Modern Love Long Distance, now a part of Lasting The Distance. Drawing upon her own extensive experience with long distance relationships, Lisa helps couples navigate LDR pitfalls and forge meaningful, enduring connections across the miles.
Fall in love all over again with our FREE 7 day LDR challenge!

Unlock better date nights, deeper communication plus a stronger intimate & emotional connection.

Loved by over 50,000 long distance couples!

We respect your privacy & you can unsubscribe at any time.